Maman Loup Fluffy Her Love

Hello {{{{my friends}}}}

I am not certain how to start this email because I am not quite sure of what it is I want to say exactly therefore I will just open my heart and let it express freely and verbally it's toughts and it's concerns; it's happiness and it's sadness. I am adressing all wolves that I have in my address book; I sadly do not have everyone's ady but I know that some of you will be kind enough to forward it to others. Over time,you have all been so loving, generous , supportive and protective towards the one you call Maman :}} You have all brought me so much in in my life; each and everyone of you have that extra "little something" that make each and everyone, special and unique. I have learned much wisdom and compassion by listening and talking with you; I will always be grateful for teaching me this lesson of life. I have grown to care for you and love you deeply as if you were my own children even though some are a tad bit older than I :}} I have been blessed for having had the opportunity of crossing your paths. I recall 3 years ago, one very emotional evening where time stood still :{{ I felt {as u all know this gut wrenching feeling sadly oh so well} so lost, so shattered, so devastated; my whole world caved in. I was welcomed with open arms and felt the hugs and love that sourrounded my broken heart. This wonderful group of human beings were there and allowed me to let my tears flow. They actually just sat there while I yelled hysterically my baby was dead not once judging or interrupting me as I tried to regain my sanity. i could feel their love through my bones and u will never know just how much these kind warm hearted people saved my life... Those of u who know me well can relate that I have many times, in the past said that without petloss I would have very easily committed a very dramatic act. I swore to myself that one day if ever I would survive this horrible tragedy, I would do the same for others. One of the first people I met was of course, Lobowolf, The name struck me at first because I recalled of a music band way back in the 70's called Lobo who sang a particular song which I used to sing to my doggie when I was younger :}} Not all of you know that I had a doggie named Teddy {mix of cocker spaniel and fox terrier}. My daddy took him home when I was 13 years and he passed away when I was 29. Being an only child, Teddy was my little brother. He was a vicious doggie, very aggressive but I loved him with all my heart :}} This man called Lobowolf was so attentive and kind as i spilled my guts in sorrow and in tears. He made me promise to return which of course I did. When I first came into petloss, I signed myself in as Jojo {nickname for Johanne}. After a little while, we talked more and more and it felt so soothing and comforting. I couldn't wait to get at home at nights just to come on the chat site to be able to breathe and releive all the large load of sadness my heart was carrying. One time I mentioned it was coincidental that my son's pet name since he was a newborn was Petit Loup {which means little wolf in french}. Lobowolf said: -then we shall call u Maman Loup -{which is of course mother wolf in french} So u see I was never really officially "baptised"a wolf LOL it was in honor of my boy. The list grew and grew; many newcomers joining in as I ,looking for a glimpse of hope and encouragement. It felt so good in my heart just to try and find the right words ; just to be there . I wanted so much to try and help as steadily my own healing process had begun. If I was able to offer one small but sincere hug of comfort to a friend who was so ravashed inside by this overwhelming sadness , it swelled my heart with serenity ... Slowly the wolf pack was forming. U could feel the love and devotion these people had towards each other. It was really beautiful and very touching. More members were added to this wonderful family. As any animal, one would push mountains to fiercely protect and help a member of her or his pack. Everybody wanted to be a wolf:}}} It was a dream come true. But then one day... something happened, something had changed. People wanted to get a wolf name just for the kick of it, people started taking decisions on views that was of no matter at all, people decided who would be in or who would be out, people decided they didn't like this certain individual, people decided they wanted to be boss, name callings, bickering, jealousy, un adult behavior and this is where the down fall started. How could this be? how could it have come to this? sadly, this is what happened. Everyone had a reason and everyone was right in their own way. Many have written me so many times expressing anguish, frustration, sadness and angriness. I have always tried my best to respect whatever decision was taken. Now I am the one writing u all to express all these feelings. I am not mad at anyone nor do I think I will ever be; I am just a person with a overly sensitive heart and it's pretty much broken right now. I was raised in an environement of bickering and name calling between my parents and it affected me deeply. I often said everytime we would sit at the family table for dinner , the explosion erupted and my food would go down all crooked that is why I have stomach problems today :}} There will always be in life , one or two individuals we cannot relate to. There will always be one or two troublemakers. There will always be that specific word someone said that will send u into a tail spin. There will always be hypocrits. But there will always be one or two who are sincere, honest and trustworthy. It's hard to please everybody; it's hard to get along with everyone. But there are people who make it all worthwhile. The basic reason for this email? I am not sure. One thing I am sure though, we were all reunited to petloss for the same reason and that is true love. The true and honest, beautiful love we felt for our pets. I know in my heart this love {perhaps not generalised} can still be found amongst humans . No one can ever force someone to go somewhere they don't want to go or to like everyone and get along but one can force someone to sit down and think back this song made famous by Barbara Sreisand "The way we were". Ty for taking time to read what my heart was carrying for a very long time and I hope u understand this note is not meant to judge or critisize anyone Hugs and God bless u all {{{{{}}}}}}}

Johanne aka maman loup